


Edge of Reason

by CSIGurlie07



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Missing Scene, Pre supercorp, Suicidal Thoughts, becomes actual supercorp!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-30 18:08:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12658725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CSIGurlie07/pseuds/CSIGurlie07
Summary: If not for her desperate call, one that somehow reminded Lena of Kara, one that woke something inside her… Lena would have gotten her wish.[The 3x05 lena-supergirl button we should have gotten]





	1. Chapter 1

The plane crashes to the ground first. Supergirl lets it go with still several yards to go beneath it. In the next instant, Lena is six feet away, released far more gently. She still stumbles, legs collapsing as her stomach violently revolts to being back on solid ground. She swallows the bile rising in her throat, even as Supergirl starts to yell at her.  
  
“What were you thinking?!” Supergirl is also on her hands and knees, chest heaving with the exertion of trying to save the entire plane. “Did you really think you could stop the plane by yourself?”  
  
Her voice stabs sharp bolts of pain through Lena's skull.  
  
_“Lena!!”_  
  
“I didn't try to stop the plane!” Lena snaps back, her shout almost a scream in her throat. Too high pitched to match Supergirl's bellow. “He put me on it!”  
  
“Edge?” Lena nods, and immediately regrets it. “How did he even get his hands on you?”  
  
“I confronted him!” Because she isn't some damsel. Because she is in charge of her own story, because…  
  
“You confr-- Are you out of your _mind?!”_ Supergirl's voice carries over the snap and pop of the plane's fried electrical circuits, over the wind tugging at Lena's jacket, sharp and angry. “He could have killed you!”  
  
“I went there to kill _him!”_  
  
Lena's retort is met with a split second of Supergirl's stricken expression before Lena loses her battle against the nausea. She vomits, spilling bile onto the dewy grass. Each spasm of her stomach earns a corresponding throb in her skull, growing in magnitude with each retch. Tears pour from her eyes, and she doesn't know if it's from the pain, the flight, or the phantom press of the trigger under her finger.  
  
Her stomach soon calms, but the tears keep coming. Suddenly Supergirl is at her side, her own exhaustion seemingly forgotten in Lena's distress.  
  
“Lena…”  
  
Supergirl's voice is soft and full of disbelief. Lena hates it, hates the way she can hear the hero searching for some kind of explanation that would preserve her faith in Lena's goodness.  
  
“I went there to kill him,” Lena gasped. “I would have killed him, I know it, I would have…”  
  
Because someone who poisons kids doesn't deserve to live. It had been her last coherent thought before Lena passed out on Sam's couch, her brain swimming in wine and self-loathing. But it hadn't been about the lead, in the end. Because even knowing she was innocent, knowing her device truly had saved the world--  when Lena saw the exact moment Supergirl realized she couldn't save both halves of the plane... She'd been done.  
  
Lena had been ready to stop. She'd welcomed the numb sense of peace that followed, felt utterly sure when she'd called for Supergirl to let her go. It was the right thing to do, and she was ready.  
  
If not for Supergirl’s insistence, Lena would be crushed to pieces out in the middle of the reservoir. If not for her desperate call, one that somehow reminded Lena of Kara, one that woke something inside her… Lena would have gotten her wish.  
  
She doesn't realize she's sobbing until Supergirl's arms wrap around her shoulders.  “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,” drifts to her ears, and it's a long moment before Lena realizes it's her voice, the words spilling from her throat unbidden. But Supergirl holds her until the tears and apologies run dry and Lena sags bonelessly in the hero's arms. That's how the FBI finds them, and Alex Danvers appears with concern warping her features.  
  
Alex and Supergirl trade soft words that run together in Lena's ears. She hears the words ‘concussion’ and ‘edge’, and then there's the familiar whoosh of a cape flapping as Supergirl takes off, leaving Alex to examine Lena alone.  
  
The concussion is confirmed in quick order, and alcohol wipes take care of the blood that's dried on the back of Lena's neck. The cut doesn't need stitches, and after a swift but intense debrief onsite, Alex recommends she go home and rest. Supergirl reappears then, eyes flashing dangerously for a split second before the look is eclipsed by concern.

“Supergirl will fly you home,” Alex tells Lena in a low voice. “I've called Kara. She's  already on her way to meet you at your apartment. Take it easy, okay?”  
  
When Supergirl's arms loop around her waist, it feels almost like an embrace. Lena wordlessly wraps her arms around Supergirl's shoulders and holds on tight as the world drops away from her feet. She clenches her eyes tightly shut, feels the wind chill the fresh tears that spill on to her cheeks. They dry by the time they touch down on Lena's balcony, and the hollow feeling returns when Supergirl steps away.  
  
They stand there for a silent moment. Lena can barely at her. Shame colors her cheeks, certain that Supergirl can tell just by looking how close Lena came to giving in. How she almost stopped fighting.  
  
Lena doesn't know which is worse: that Supergirl might know she almost gave up, or that she knows Lena almost murdered a man tonight.  
  
“You astound me, Lena Luthor.”  
  
Lena's head whips up of its own accord, shock cracking through the haze surrounding her. Supergirl looks exhausted still, but her smile is warm and genuine.  
  
“Not long ago, I lost the people's trust. I hurt people, scared them. For a long time I didn't think I'd ever have their faith again, and I came so close to giving up. But you, Lena Luthor… No one expected you to rise above your brother’s legacy, but you have. Even when the world pits itself against you, you've chosen to the right thing. To do good. And you've done it all without the cape.”  
  
Lena's chest twinges with guilt. Supergirl thinks Morgan Edge is alive because Lena chose not to shoot him. She doesn't know that Lena was interrupted, and Lena can't find the breath to correct her.  
  
“One day the world will look at you and see what I do… that you embody the best of what humanity has to offer.” Supergirl's smile widens. “And when they do, I'll be the first to say ‘I told you so’.”  
  
A laugh coughs out of Lena's chest, stiff and surprised. Supergirl's hair blows in the breeze, and for a moment she looks young and soft and oh so beautiful.  
  
“I'm lucky to know you, Lena,” she continues, turning to leave. “And even luckier to count you a friend.”  
  
With that, she leaps into the air and disappears, leaving Lena numb and alone on her balcony. It takes several moments for Lena to come back to herself enough to go inside, and pour herself a glass of water. She's lifting the first sip to her lips with a trembling hand when she hears the latch on the front door turn and give.  
  
“Lena!”  
  
_Kara._  
  
Kara consumes her in an instant, wrapping herself tightly around Lena in a hug that's urgent, panicked, and suddenly the tears come back to burn at the back of Lena's eyes. She gives a ragged sigh, and clutches at Kara's shoulderblades, desperate for the contact and the unyielding faith Kara has had in her-- faith that Lena herself has never shared.  
  
Kara doesn't let go.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little something that I wanted to add to the episode. I didn't want to spend too much time on it, with all my other projects going on, but I definitely wanted it to be read, so... it's a little rough-edged. Forgive me. Enjoy!

_“Let me go!”_

Kara clenches her eyes shut against the echo of Lena’s call in her ears. In her arms, Lena is shaking, and though her skin is chilled to the touch, Kara knows it has nothing to do with the tremors. Not when Lena sobbed against Supergirl less than an hour ago. Not when Kara’s own heart pounds in her chest like she’s still trying to fly an entire C-130 with one hand-- with far more precious cargo dangling from the other.

“Are you okay?” Kara doesn’t loosen her grip to ask. Lena’s chin digs into her shoulder as she nods. “Don't just tell me what you think I want to hear, I mean it--”

“No, really,” Lena assures her, pulling back with a hasty sniffle. Her hands run lightly down Kara’s arms, until their hands meet. “I’m fine, I swear. Supergirl was there; she saved me. _Again_ ,” she adds with a thin laugh.

Kara can’t join in. She can't even bring herself to smile. Her palms tingle where Lena’s hands rest in hers. Searching Lena’s features, she sees relief, and weary gratitude overlaying a shadow of something darker-- the same something that flashed across her features just before being sick next to the reservoir. She can't put a name to it, and one look is enough to tell her Lena doesn't have the energy to discuss it.

Throwing her arms around Lena again, Kara squeezes her tight. “The next time you decide to take on a homicidal maniac on your own--  just let me know, okay?”

Lena laughs again, and melts against her. Kara holds the embrace as long as she can, until Lena pulls away muttering something about a shower. Twenty minutes later, the water still hasn't turned on, and Kara fearfully checks on her to discover Lena dozing in the middle of her bed, only half undressed. On silent feet Kara carefully covers Lena with the blanket that usually lives at the foot of Lena's bed. She freezes when Lena’s fingers reach up and curl around her hand.

Lena doesn’t speak. She only looks up at Kara with sleepy eyes that don’t quite focus in the dark but drift shut when Kara murmurs softly, “I’m right here.”

She should pull away. Kara should reclaim her hand when she hears Lena’s heart rate even out into peaceful sleep. They’re friends, but not friends like this. Not watch-you-sleep friends. But Kara can’t bring herself to break the connection. She carefully sits on the floor by the side of the bed and closes her eyes against the sudden tears that gather. As her own exhaustion catches up with her, Kara lets Lena’s soft grip blot out the sound of the wind and Lena’s voice in her ear.

_Let me go!_

“No,” Kara breathes. She won’t let go.

Not this time.

* * *

Kara doesn’t realize she’s fallen asleep until a hand shakes her shoulder, and she opens her eyes to morning sunlight and a freshly showered Lena gazing at her in concern. The blanket Kara had used to cover Lena the night before is now awkwardly draped over her knees, pooling in her lap where it had slipped from her shoulders.

“Hey," Lena says, her face twisted into an apologetic grimace. "You okay?"

A human would certainly be sore from sitting on the floor all night, so Kara nods with an exaggerated stretch. "Yeah, I'm good."

"I'm sorry; you didn't have to stay all night. And certainly not on the floor." A dark eyebrow quirks upward slightly. "Next time just get in bed with me.”

Kara blinks at her, and she sees Lena jolt almost as soon as the words leave her mouth. Her cheeks turn pink, but she doesn’t try to correct herself. Instead she stands and heads for the kitchen, where toast is already browning. Kara trails after her, tugged along by an invisible string anchored under her ribs. She tells herself it doesn’t mean anything: after almost losing Lena, it’s natural for her to not want to let Lena out of her sight for even a second.

But that doesn’t explain the tingle of electricity that chases up Kara’s arm when Lena’s fingers brush hers when handing over a plate. It doesn’t explain the way Lena’s eyes come back to Kara again and again as they eat, only to dart away when Kara tries to catch her eye. It doesn’t explain how Kara feels that somehow something fundamental between them has shifted, or the feeling that she’s not the only one who’s noticed.

On the way to Sam’s, Kara finds herself staring. The light finds new ways to catch the planes of Lena’s face, and Kara can't quite name the color of her eyes before the light changes them to a completely different hue. In the backseat of Lena’s towncar, their knees bump and jostle with each turn and curve, but neither of them make any move to add more distance between them.

Scrunching up next to Lena on Sam’s couch feels like the most natural thing in the world. Hearing Lena giggle as Sam snuggles up on her other side sparks a frisson of something new along Kara’s skin. Kara knows what it is. She does. But to name it means that she’s missed it all this time, and the realization coils shame in the pit of her stomach.

 _This is good_ , she tells herself. Time spent with Lena and Sam together is good. She doesn’t have to do anything about her newfound realization today. She can keep it to herself, give it time to fade if it truly is just the aftershocks of another near-death experience. Except her resolve chips away as they work their way through their first bottle of wine, eroding with every touch of their shoulders and every smile that brightens Lena's features. When Lena rises from her seat, Kara feels that same tug as before.

“I’ll get more wine,” Lena tells them with a smile, extricating herself from the two-sided hug. Her feet tangle with Kara’s edging between legs and coffee table, and Kara’s hand on her hip to steady her makes Lena’s heartbeat flutter. Kara freezes, unprepared to have her suspicions confirmed so quickly: Lena feels it too.

A buzz from Sam’s phone distracts the CFO a moment later, allowing Kara to rise and trail after Lena unnoticed. She reaches the corner of the kitchen island-- the middle point between her personal space and Lena's-- but lets her feet carry her past it. Lena glances up at her as she nears, flashing a smile that lights up her whole face.

“Hey,” Lena greets. “I was planning on leaving some for the rest of you this time, I swear.”

Kara chuckles, but it fades with Lena’s grin as she expertly sinks the corkscrew into the cork. Kara reaches out one hand and covers Lena’s fingers before she can lever the cork out of the bottle. Lena’s hands still, and green eyes close, as though Lena had been anticipating this since the night before.

"I'm okay."

Kara isn’t convinced. It must show on her face, because Lena abandons the pretense within moments. Her shoulders droop, and her lips pull into a wan line.

“I will be,” she amends. Her voice is little more than a croak. “It's just... everything that’s happened helped me realize something. Something that’s been there for a while, but I didn’t see it. And now, I’m not really sure what to do about it.”

Their eyes meet, and suddenly Lena's gaze is deep and intense. The heat that climbs up Kara's neck mirrors the pink flush that colors Lena's cheeks. Kara’s focus narrows on Lena’s lips, and her feet take an involuntary step forward. Double speak has never been Kara’s strong suit. Euphemisms weren’t used on Krypton, and English ones in particular only served to confuse her.

But this time, she hears exactly what Lena is trying to say. Every word strikes a note in Kara, rings true in her bones like nothing ever has before. She closes the distance between them with a smile.

“I do,” she says softly.

She presses her lips against Lena's. Kara's never known what a delirium might feel like until this very moment. Lena's lips are soft and perfect and, and... _still_. Kara's elation curdles when she notices Lena's stiff frame and the shallow breaths scraping from her lungs. Surging backwards, she finds Lena staring at her with wide, startled eyes.

“Oh my god,” Kara blurts, covering her mouth in horror. “You weren’t talking about us.”

“N-No.” Lena blinks in shock.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn’t have-- I should have told you before I-- Oh god, Lena, I am so sorr--”

Before she can finish, Lena's hands frame her face and her lips press tenderly against Kara’s. Lena’s perfume fills Kara's senses, and the touch of her fingers trails fire across her skin. _Rao_. Kara might have ruined their first kiss, but their second is perfect.

When they pause a long moment later catch their breath and gather their wits, their foreheads rest together. Kara’s mind spins even as her insides turn to liquid. She opens her eyes, struggling to reclaim her equilibrium when she can't stop staring at the giddy smile curling Lena's lips. "You were talking about something else?"

"Yes." Lena's thumb strokes the side of Kara's neck. She smiles, as though finally reaching the punchline to the world's longest joke. "I've never needed help realizing my feelings for you, Kara."

"Y-you never said anything."

She pulls her head up, meeting Lena’s gaze. This time, there’s no hesitation, no confusion. The room stops spinning, and Kara can feel the ground again. She’s completely centered, anchored by fingertips brushing her jaw line and green eyes that her rivet her to the spot.

"Your friendship is the most important thing in my life,” Lena confesses, her voice low. “I couldn't risk losing that-- not when you hadn’t shown any interest."

Looking back, she can now recognize the signs of flirtation early on in their friendship-- most of which disappeared abruptly after Kara had shared she was dating "Mike". By then their friendship had been solid enough that Kara hadn't even noticed the difference, but now she did. Imagining what must have gone through Lena's mind twists Kara's stomach into knots.

Suddenly, Lena pulls away. Her features cloud with doubt, and Kara feels the change like a bucket of ice water down her spine. Lena's fingers disappear from Kara's skin, and Kara almost stumbles at the loss of contact. "We shouldn't--"

"No, no, no," Kara says quickly, grabbing her hand. "Don't run away from me, please."

"Kara, someone shot at me three days ago! My name may have been cleared this time, but what happens the next time? Or the time after that? Edge isn't done with me by a long shot, and my mother will resurface eventually, and I can't-- I _won't_ let that violence spread to you. I won't."

Kara shakes her head. "That's my choice. And I choose you." She softens her grip on Lena's wrist. Her thumb trails lightly across Lena's smooth knuckles. "We deserve to be happy, don't we?"

Lena stiffens, and the lack of response is answer enough. Kara tightens her grip.

“We _both_ deserve happiness, Lena.” Their gazes lock, as Kara silently dares her to argue. "Sam would agree with me."

Lena's gaze travels to where Sam still sits on the couch, absorbed in whatever is happening on her phone. Then her eyes close, and her shoulders slump.

"I'm your boss, Kara," she reminds her. "It would be inappropriate..."

Kara's spirits fall by a fraction. She'd forgotten about CatCo. "We admittedly have some things to figure out," she allows, thinking of one particular, super-sized detail, "but I think we're worth a shot."

The smile that Lena flashes at her a moment later is small, but genuine. "Yeah."

Kara edges closer until they're separated by centimeters. "And in the meantime, I'd really, _really_ like to kiss you again."

Lena closes the distance readily. Her lips are sure and confident, leaving only the tremble of her fingers under Kara's hand to betray her lingering nerves. 

Somewhere in their periphery, the front door opens and closes. The footsteps that follow are distinctly Ruby's, and they freeze just shy of the kitchen. The sharp intake of breath startles Lena, but it soon shifts into a squeal of poorly contained glee.

" _I knew it!_ "


End file.
